I'm back and I'm going to start doing things my way.
First off . . . . To Do List!
- PACK!
-pack!!!!
- move house
- get laptop fixed (half my keyboard isn't working -.-)
- HC1 form !!!
- Japanese
- Latin!
and last but definatley not least. . . .
- do things my way (aka, screw food I'm losing fat instead)
more things will proaly crop up but ..ehh
Gonna try veganism again I think.... puts a lotta things off limits ;)
anyway tidy now chat later
xx
Hate may be a strong word, but I really, really, really, really, don't like my body.
I want to be thin, I want to be seen as beautiful, sexy maybe, but that will never be.
I have a masculine square face, I'm over weight, spotty, flat-chested and ugly. I'm lower than plain, I'm ugly. I wish so hard that I could be seen as beautiful, and it hurts, I hope one day that there is a guy who will find me sexy, but I know hope is a lie. There was a reason that hope was in Pandora's Box and that's cause it can hurt deeper than anything else I've known.
I miss not eating, I miss the joy that came every morning as I weighed myself, I hate being this weak and dumb that I can;t find a way around it. I hate the state of my skin, it hasn't been perfectly clear in soooo long.
I hate the fact that I envy my Girlfriend so much, but she really is beautiful. To an artistic level, the heart shaped face, the big blue eyes with a sexy round almond shape, her long lashes. Everything is proportion beautifully. Yet she doesn't see it.